Dewie or don’t he?
Cybersecurity mascot mockable at first glance, but will likely score big with the small-fry
EVEN WHEN THE anticipated war with Iraq fills the headlines, a wise bureaucrat knows that the way to get ink is to bring up the woeful state of computer security. Whether you’re discussing the private sector or institutional problems — such as the Defense Department agency that recently had to shore up an unsecured Notes database which allowed everyone and their dogs access to a technology procurement system — it’s clear that for once IT security is hot news.
Even the Federal Trade Commission is jumping on the cybersecurity bandwagon. A few weeks ago, FTC head Orson Swindle (could Dickens have come up with a better name for the person in charge of consumer protection?) unveiled our new cybersecurity mascot: Dewie the Turtle.
At first I thought this was a hoax. After all, turtles aren’t usually heroic, except perhaps Mack from Dr. Suess’ Yertle the Turtle. My first mental image was of the character in a recent Dana Carvey movie who at one point dresses to resemble a turtle. The next thing that came to mind was the notorious “Turtle Game,” about which the less said, the better.
Some of you might expect me to rant about how the last thing we need now is a cartoon character telling us to avoid e-mail attachments from strangers. Or as The Simpsons’ Krusty the Clown would put it: “Give a hoot, update your anti-virus regularly.”
But I am an open-minded, reflective person most of the time, so I’m willing to give the idea of a computer security mascot a chance. I imagine a few people panned the idea of Smokey Bear, yet his character is incredibly effective; these days, it seems that the only people setting forest fires are the ones who are supposed to be putting them out. I certainly remember Patch the Pony from my childhood, along with his warning to avoid strangers — I still repeat it at trade shows.
A cartoon mascot for cybersecurity is far from the worst suggestion I’ve heard for raising security awareness, but I wonder whose idea it was to use a turtle. After all, turtles — except for the snapping kind — don’t fight back. Instead, they pull into their shells and hope that the intruder goes away. This is not exactly the behavior we need from our mascot.
If anyone had asked me what the mascot should be, I would have suggested the rattlesnake, from the flag that American vessels flew in the Revolution. But some child would probably try to pick up a live timber rattler and earn a trip to the hospital for his trouble. Besides, snakes aren’t very cuddly, taking the plush toy market into consideration. My editor, Doug Dineley, suggested a porcupine mascot, which is even less cuddly than a rattlesnake but gets the point across.
Although Dewie may not click with most grownups, I reckon that thanks to him my nephew will know more about computer security than his parents do. As a long-term investment in educating ordinary Americans about how to practice safe computing, my money’s on the turtle.
